Surviving At Home

How many times during our childhoods do our parents and/or teachers ask us, “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

I seem to recall being asked that question a LOT and yet I always came up with the same old choices: teacher or movie star. Pretty standard choices and not very imaginative. But I realize it’s similar to the difficulty I had when a professor or teacher told us we could write a paper on absolutely any topic we wanted. Having too many choices can sometimes be overwhelming.

At one point I thought I might like interior design, until I realized I can’t draw anything except stick figures and I have a tough time pairing colors and patterns together. A contestant on The Next Design Star tv show I’m not.

As I reached adult hood I realized that my biggest dream was to be a mother and to have a family, which, happily, is a dream that came true. Now that my kids are older I’m trying to find myself again, trying to discover if I have a passion for anything else.

Although I’m not sure I’ve had “passion” necessarily, I marvel at my kids who have very distinct and different dreams and life goals. They seem to have found passion very early in life and it’s exciting to see THEM get so excited about their activities.

My oldest is bound and determined to join the New York City Ballet company and has even gone so far as to create a time line for this journey. She has carefully plotted out which ballet classes she wants to take each year and when she’ll be eligible to audition for their summer intensive camp. These bigger goals are interspersed among smaller ones, such as getting on pointe and having a solo performance in the recital.

I think it’s wonderful that she’s focused and excited about these goals, and setting goals can only be helpful as she gets older. But the more practical mom side of me wonders if she’s being realistic and how badly she’ll be crushed if these dreams don’t come true.

Where do you draw the line between allowing them to dream and encouraging them to reach for the stars but also being realistic that maybe there will be too much competition?

My youngest has her entire life’s career planned out and has drawn a map of sorts on paper. When she’s 16 she’ll be competing at the olympics as a US gymnast. Then she’ll come home and start up her popstar-the-next-Hannah-Montana career. During her touring downtime she wants to make quilts and during her retirement she wants to write the Great American Novel and be the US version of JK Rowling.

Somewhere in there she wants to be a professional golfer because, as she told me while taking lessons this summer, “I feel like I was meant to play this game.”

Since she’s only 7, living in fantasy Hannah Montana land is OK. Goodness knows she’ll change her mind a million times between now and high school about what she wants her career to be.

But my oldest is 12 and in another few years we’ll be talking college and I just don’t think my dear husband will want to pay good money for her to attend a dance college.

For now, I’ll let her dream some more and enjoy her excitement.

Wow…six months is a LOOOOOONG time for a blogging break.

I never intended to leave my blog sitting here in cyberspace for so long, all by its lonesome self. But life as a work at home mom got in the way.

And yes, that’s just an excuse, and a weak one at that.

There are plenty of wahms who also keep their personal blogs up to date but apparently they have discovered that elusive “balance” between blogging and family or household responsibilities.

Me, I’m still waiting to win the lotto so I can get a maid.

But I have also suffered from self-doubt and lack of focus, trying to figure out what the heck people would find interesting enough about my life to come visit my lil ol’ blog regularly. I have discovered quite a few new blogs during these months and these moms are either hysterically funny, eloquent writers, amazing photographers, or a combination of all three.

I don’t consider myself any of these things, although I do enjoy writing. And a friend in high school once told me I was hysterical but that compliment came a good 20+ years ago so that doesn’t really count anymore.

And lots of these bloggers post everyday. No six month hiatuses for them. They are superwomen.

But it boils down to doing what you enjoy. Yes, I like to write for myself (client articles be damned!) but if the joy disappears because of my own self-imposed pressure to write a post everyday, then I will disappear again with no apologies.

And let’s face it…how many of you really noticed that I was MIA from blogging?

So I’m making the executive decision to just have fun here. No thinking about keyword phrases or selling ads or writing the P-E-R-F-E-C-T post. I procrastinate enough as it is without adding all those business “things” to the mix.

Most likely I won’t have many photos in each blog post. I can’t even seem to keep up with Wordless Wednesday once each week never mind adding photos everyday. And trust me when I say my photos are no works of art. But I don’t have the time (or desire) to edit the photos nor do I have the moola for any fancy editing software.

But tis the life of a busy mom, whose kids want extra summertime attention, who needs to keep the mom taxi gassed up for dance camps and swimming lessons, and who is trying to work part time from home so as to avoid the embarrasment of working in the local grocery store.

And that’s what I prefer to do so blogging will just have to fit into MY schedule.