Surviving At Home

How many times during our childhoods do our parents and/or teachers ask us, “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

I seem to recall being asked that question a LOT and yet I always came up with the same old choices: teacher or movie star. Pretty standard choices and not very imaginative. But I realize it’s similar to the difficulty I had when a professor or teacher told us we could write a paper on absolutely any topic we wanted. Having too many choices can sometimes be overwhelming.

At one point I thought I might like interior design, until I realized I can’t draw anything except stick figures and I have a tough time pairing colors and patterns together. A contestant on The Next Design Star tv show I’m not.

As I reached adult hood I realized that my biggest dream was to be a mother and to have a family, which, happily, is a dream that came true. Now that my kids are older I’m trying to find myself again, trying to discover if I have a passion for anything else.

Although I’m not sure I’ve had “passion” necessarily, I marvel at my kids who have very distinct and different dreams and life goals. They seem to have found passion very early in life and it’s exciting to see THEM get so excited about their activities.

My oldest is bound and determined to join the New York City Ballet company and has even gone so far as to create a time line for this journey. She has carefully plotted out which ballet classes she wants to take each year and when she’ll be eligible to audition for their summer intensive camp. These bigger goals are interspersed among smaller ones, such as getting on pointe and having a solo performance in the recital.

I think it’s wonderful that she’s focused and excited about these goals, and setting goals can only be helpful as she gets older. But the more practical mom side of me wonders if she’s being realistic and how badly she’ll be crushed if these dreams don’t come true.

Where do you draw the line between allowing them to dream and encouraging them to reach for the stars but also being realistic that maybe there will be too much competition?

My youngest has her entire life’s career planned out and has drawn a map of sorts on paper. When she’s 16 she’ll be competing at the olympics as a US gymnast. Then she’ll come home and start up her popstar-the-next-Hannah-Montana career. During her touring downtime she wants to make quilts and during her retirement she wants to write the Great American Novel and be the US version of JK Rowling.

Somewhere in there she wants to be a professional golfer because, as she told me while taking lessons this summer, “I feel like I was meant to play this game.”

Since she’s only 7, living in fantasy Hannah Montana land is OK. Goodness knows she’ll change her mind a million times between now and high school about what she wants her career to be.

But my oldest is 12 and in another few years we’ll be talking college and I just don’t think my dear husband will want to pay good money for her to attend a dance college.

For now, I’ll let her dream some more and enjoy her excitement.

During Christmas break our girls decided they wanted to get the Wii. I was really annoyed when I heard this because I had thought to buy it for them as their one big gift for Christmas but back at Thanksgiving my oldest had said that they changed their minds.

Never mind the fact that this was barely a week after Santa had come and I couldn’t understand why they didn’t appreciate their new gifts.

So, we made them a deal: they could get the Nintendo Wii once they earned enough money for it. That would be tough for our youngest but they scrounged and scrabbled for extra jobs to do around the house. Of course, they wanted to get paid $5 for emptying the dishwasher (no way!) but they got the idea that they had to E-A-R-N that game.

We were impressed because they didn’t keep asking, “When can we get the game?” We counted their money two weeks ago and hubby surprised them by taking them to the store yesterday. We had to give them a small advance so they’ll be working to pay back that “loan” but we’re all enjoying our new toy.

Even our youngest mentioned, breathlessly, how you have to keep moving to play the sports games. I won’t count it as “real” exercise but at least they’re moving and learning how to play new games.

So now I need some ideas for game titles suitable for a 12 yr old and a 7 yr old. Suggestions please!!

If you scroll back a couple of posts (or click this link here) you’ll see my last Wordless Wednesday photo. Here’s the story behind the picture:

That photo was taken at my college graduation in May 1990 (no, I’m not afraid to announce how old I am!). It was at my graduation dinner in Syracuse, NY with my family. I believe graduation was held on Mother’s Day that year but it was rainy and damp, just typical weather for that part of the country. I probably should have been warming up with a hot drink but how could I resist the size of that strawberry marguerita!

I decided to use that photo on this particular date in December because I celebrated my 40th birthday. Oprah must be right that you get more comfortable with yourself as you age because I’ve been pretty open when people ask how old I am. Contrary to my husband’s jokes, I do NOT pretend that I’m still 29.

Of course, I had a harder time admitting I was 31 than I did 30, so maybe next year will be more difficult.

A drink like that probably would have put me to sleep now that I’m older but the photo captured the same sentiment…life is good. My hair is shorter and my clothes are larger but I really have very little to complain about.

So, that’s the story. No, Nell, I did not have 3 of those drinks way back when   I was merely looking forward to being a new graduate embarking on another chapter of life. (and who wants to be loopy in front of their parents?)

Good grief…school no sooner started then the supermarket shelves were stocked with trick or treating candy. Come to think of it, we received our first costume catalogs in the mail before school even started!

I know full well that Halloween planning starts right after school starts but I’m still surprised by it every year. My oldest started 6th grade and has decided not to dress up this year. I guess it’s not cool, although I’m sure she’ll be raiding her little sister’s candy bag when the day comes! Or will go scurrying around the house trying to put something together if she’s invited to a costume party at school.

My little one wants to be Hannah Montana AGAIN. Except she doesn’t just want to resurrect last year’s costume. Oh no! She wants the new Hannah costume that we found online!

It’s always been fun for me to see the girls being creative, thinking about what costumes they wanted to wear or what character they wanted to be. Sometimes my mom would sew the costumes and other times we would shop online for inspiration.

Of course, shopping online sometimes backfired because there are always more costumes online than in any printed catalog! Buy Costumes.com has 18 pages of Halloween costumes for girls and 20 pages of boys’ costumes. Yes, it will be many hours of fun for your kids to surf, looking for just the right costume!

Even though I hated the thought of buying new costumes each year, we usually got our money’s worth because the kids were allowed to bring costumes to school and they loved to dress up in the costumes straight through til Thanksgiving, so I really can’t complain about the cost.

But they were also incredibly spoiled, getting a new costume every year. When I was little, it seemed like I alternated between being a gypsy (with my mom’s costume jewelry and scarves) and a hobo (with my dad’s clothes and burnt cork on my face so I looked dirty).

Now that I’m older, I much prefer just sneaking the kids’ chocolate eating the leftover candy bars.

photo credit: Paul-W