How to Help Your ADHD Child Learn
The frustrated parent and relearning what “learning” is for the ADHD child:
The way your ADHD child learns is different, not wrong…
I was casually sitting on the couch one afternoon on a day off from work. I looked up from my book and saw two feet bicycling in the air in front of me behind our large red foot rest. There was a steady and peppy whistling accompanying the feet riding round and round. I proceeded to peer over the foot rest to see my middle child, age 8 at the time, with a chapter book in his hands, upside down. On the floor. Pressing his scrunched body up against the footrest as a back brace.
The whistling stopped and he looked up at me with bright eyes, “yes momma?”
I laughed. “You like your book?”
He proceeded to tell me all about it in one breath. Before I could respond, he was back to humming and reading, this time the bicycle feet now thumping up and down up and down as he rocked up and down against the chaise.
Reframe your brain for your ADHD child:
1. It’s not a curse, it’s a blessing. Embrace it. Reframe your mind and your approach to it. That is easier said than done.
2. “Schooling” and “learning” have a different meaning for them. There is a much wider spectrum for that definition in their world.
3. What works for one ADHD child does not work for another.
4. Each day is a new challenge because what worked positively yesterday may be the negative trigger the next.
What to do baseline:
Set broad goals –
- Read for thirty minutes to an hour
- Write three sentences carefully (likely handwriting is a struggle – that’s okay)
- Complete a few questions on a lesson
- Answer in a complete sentence
- Verbally explain the answer to you
- Recite words or write out words on white board
Chunking or segmenting work eases stress…
Worksheets are a curse but also necessary. I found short questions or short segments of information work best. If this can’t be done because the curriculum is asking for more, try highlight the main points on the page and use multiple colors. These colors direct the eye and help with distraction. This is something learned from my teaching days and college courses on teaching classrooms with many abilities.
Have something for your child to hold or fidget with while completing a worksheet or book. Our house is littered with pop-its, fidget spinners, coins, cars, gum etc. It works.
Refocus and that will change everything…
Watch for social and physical cues that show they are anxious or stressed.
- Refocus the anger, frustration or pure brain melting as it is occurring in front of you. If you have a child with ADHD, you know what look I’m talking about.
- Speak slowly, calmly and redirect. Their brain is short circuiting and needs help to re-focus on the task because they may notice they are distracted but they can’t help it or figure out how to fix it yet. This is not a medical opinion, this is just one parent to another – learning from experience.
3. Provide a space with less noise and distraction. We use headphones with classical music some days, gum and a fidget toy other days.
Sometimes our son needs to go to a completely different room in the house alone. Sometimes he needs one of us to sit right next to him and rub his back while he holds his head frustrated and working on just thinking.
Make a checklist or check-in process
Checklists and check-ins are a must. It may not always work but it’s a way to keep you both organized. It keeps gentle accountability and tabs on them so they know they need to work to complete a task. This is a big challenge so keep at it.
Above all- be flexible and understand that everyday is a new day and a new challenge.